Reacting To Criticism

So often we are immobilized by the slightest criticism. We treat it like an emergency and defend ourselves as if we were in a battle.

For most of us, receiving and accepting criticism is not an easy task. React to Criticism While learning how to accept criticism graciously, and even thankfully, may not be at the top of your list right now. However, learning how to deal with negative feedback could make a big difference in our ability.

Research in Expert Performance psychology reveals that top performers in every field learn to view criticism differently than the rest of us (Expert Performance Ericsson & Chamess). Top performers find it as valuable feedback and an opportunity to improve. Usually, performers seek out advisors who can give them constructive feedback, no matter if it is painful one.

To accept & absorb the feedback mainly negative ones, we can follow below mentioned steps :

1. Hit the Pause Button – It is important to maintain our tranquillity and not respond defensively to criticism. Take a breath. Do not do or say anything. This brief pause not only helps us compose ourselves and prepare to listen to what the other person has to say, it demonstrates our self confidence. It shows that we are in control.

2. Turn Off Emotions & Turn On Brain – It is important to disconnect automatic emotional response to criticism. Otherwise we will not be able to objectively consider the value of the information. Focus on the words and facts, not on the feelings they generate within. In such situation, whenever our Emotions Turn On, we should tell ourselves that it is designed to help us improve, not to tear down.

3. Listen Carefully – Listen attentively to what the other person is saying. If we are busy formulating our rebuttal, we may miss some valuable information that can help us avoid errors in the future.

4. Acknowledge Error – Acknowledging a mistake is not the same as acknowledging that we are an inferior person or a failure. If we believe that the criticism is accurate, take full responsibility. Do not play blame game. If suitable, offer a tactful apology “I am sorry that my actions led to that result. It certainly was not my intention.” Again, if suitable, ask for suggestions on improvements.

5. Take Corrective Action – Once we have heard the other person completely, and listened to any suggestions for improvement, we should communicate our eagerness to improve in the future.

6. Acknowledge The Other Person’s Motive – Thank the other person for the feedback and make sure to communicate how valuable we consider it.

One of the first times I deliberately agreed with criticism directed toward me was few years ago when a co-worker said to me, “Sometimes you do not know how to hide anger.” I remember feeling hurt for a short time before deciding to agree. I responded by saying, “You are right yaar (friend), sometimes I just cannot control” Afterwards, when I consciously start observing my self I came to know that he had a good point.

Often, negative reactions to criticism convince the person (doing the criticizing) that they are accurate in their assessment.

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